Gabriel's Roekron Chronicles
May 7, 2013 22:18:54 GMT -8
Post by SwordSoup on May 7, 2013 22:18:54 GMT -8
Hello everyone.
Here is my first chronicle of the season. Wow, I feel really rusty with my chronicle writing.
May Club League Chronicle, by Sonoda Kaito
Warning: Contains minor profanity, if your going to get offended easily or are less than ten years old don't read.
Isn’t it funny? We fear vampires, the eternal freaks that forever haunt our world and minds. But never have they succeeded in completely taking over our world. They have come close, but always something holds them back and drives the monsters away. Even now, while we fear them most and they dwell just across the waves, we can drive them off our shores and push them back again. However, a simple wave, something never feared can surpass any defense and kill thousands in a single night, an accidental attack that can conquer Sashi Eten with infallible grace and efficiency. Nothing but nature, our friend can do that. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned from this. But, then again, maybe there isn’t. I’m not going to over think this now. To be honest I’ll probably never think about the tsunami again. It was a freak of nature that came, wreaked destruction and left. It can now leave our minds. Hwoosh. That was the sound of it drifting away. Now we can focus on what’s at hand, what actually maters.
Let’s see, what’s important, what happened today.
Vampires arrive on shore.
Training peasants is a chore.
Temnorian pirates are no more.
We need a thing that opens a door.
A tunnel discovered to add to our lore.
And I assume many unrhymable things more.
Vampires are interesting. They are intelligent, unpredictable beings, capable of killing anything we throw at them while they steal our beloveds and turn them against us. Yet, at the same time they are remarkably simple, one could practically set their clock by them. “Oh, here come the vampires, shit’s about to get real.” It sometimes seems- scratch that, is always the case that the vamps only come when something else, important or destructive is finally discovered. We spend our lives puttering around getting treasure and fighting orks. But, you know something important is about to happen if the vampires come. At least, that’s what I noticed, but I’m no philosopher, so I’ll shut up before making an overused metaphor out of this.
What matters is the vampires’ ability to multiply and infuriate people. No matter how many we kill they are sure to capture more of us. Maybe we should all just commit suicide and pass on to out gods now. It would stop the vampires from expanding and allow us an exciting afterlife. Maybe we could have a worldwide vamp free slumber party up in the clouds, or wherever the hell we go. Well, I better start convincing the rest of the world to commit suicide now. If you read this and want to commit suicide leave a note on my door at the inn.
All joking aside, a worldwide slumber party most likely wouldn’t be very fun. Just imagine a truth or dare game with the martial masters. That would be painful. It would be an already depressing and embarrassing game, except confined by honor and shit. Although seven minutes in heaven with Ms. Stormwing could be pretty funny.
What I’m trying to say is that vampires attacked today and it was bad. People died and stuff. We won and everything was better for a few minutes. By “we,” I mean that the “rely on Ishmael for everything” strategy is unsurprisingly effective, and largely supported. Funny, how the strategy doesn’t seem to be repeatable and work on demand. I wonder why that is… hmm… people are stupid. Everyone is all like “oh, we just had someone kill the vampires for us, now our egos are huge and bleh bleh, let’s go fight some even stronger ones.” Sometimes I like to laugh at my party in private. Everyone is an idiot. I’m sure they do the same to me. Why wouldn’t people secretly laugh at their friend’s idiocy?
What’s next in my sorry attempt at a poem? Peasants? Oh, that’s weird, didn’t see that coming. I will attempt to summarize this mission in haiku.
We promised to them
Now we teach them skills and stuff
This line is useless
I guess there is a little more to this adventure. We were delivering food and whatnot to the tsunami victims. We got attacked by a hoard of bandits. People were slow at moving through.
For once I proved to be of worth. Rarely are my magical nature magics and pacifism powers of any use. But, for whatever reason when people are wounded and turned into trees a pacifist who can revert comes in handy. Not quite sure why.
But pirates, I don’t know about them. Don’t care, don’t wanna. The pirates just served as a way to conduct more training. I feel pirates are just attention whores that hog all of the glory. Not nearly enough respect goes to the parrots on their shoulders.
And now it’s time for…
Parrots that Sit on Pirate’s Shoulders, a Critical Analysis:
Far too often we think of the devious pirate as the epitome of all that is outrageous and thieving. However, we never pay enough attention to the details. Where do pirates get their glory? Is it their countless raids against more powerful vessels and more powerful people? Is it their relentless joy from the mere collection of vast wealth? Or is it the prestige of the command of a ship and backstabingly loyal crew? Nay I say to all. The true power of a scourge of the sea comes from its second in command. Not the one that steers the ship, as much as the often forgotten superior that rests on the captain’s muscular shoulder.
A parrot is a mimicking beast, creating a mockery of the monotony of our everyday lives with its relentless identical cries. It serves as the continual encouragement for any pirate captain to lead his ship into ever greater battles for ever greater plunders and rewards in a hopeless attempt to escape the frigid truth of his overly simplified lifestyle. Thus, the parrot serves as a metaphor to us all, encouraging us to make the most of every which moment of every day. To do what we can to improve this harsh world and achieve the pinnacle of out potential in the total of our lives, rather than at once. The birds give us new incentive to elongate our lives as long as possible. Parrots give reason for the very existence of elves and provide us with the everyday courage and determination to overcome the obstacles that make up both the consequently repetitive life of a farmer as well as the ever changing, spontaneous life of a want to be hero.
The birds are the true heroes and warriors in our lives. Let the world take a moment of silence for parrots, since they never give us one.
Wow, that intermission was crap. Maybe I should hire an editor or something to review what I write in this journal. But that would mean somebody would have to know of my useless tangents. I don’t want people to know the shit that goes on in my mind sometimes. Though, it may be fun to share…
Oh boy, it seems I’ve been sidetracked again. I would say I was surprised, but that would be a lie. What was I supposed to talk about in this journal again?
Wow, I’ve reached my twisted fucked up way of saying key line already? Time flies when you talk about the meaning of parrots and worldwide slumber parties. Either way, somebody needs to get this key. And that somebody probably shouldn’t be me. I haven’t even seen the trucking chest it goes in. Wow, I use a lot of profanity in my journal don’t I? Anyways, I’d still like to be involved in this little adventure. Why not focus on something that actually matters, instead of ogres, money and magic? Who needs those things anyways? They don’t actually make one any happier, just provide one with short term joy that then needs to be surpassed in the future, leading to ever more powerful items and more powerful enemies to fight in order to receive the same jolt of joy that came the first time. However, that jolt can never be achieved again, there is nothing like the first experience, except perhaps, the last.
Anyways, I don’t know what I have to offer this key search group though, other than being one more haunt buster. One, that isn’t insane and power hungry. There was also talk of a polymorpher, I can do that I guess. I’m not sure if I’ve studied what they need me to know or not. Either way, I have a plan that will make sure I have just the right creature studied…
Anyways, tunnels. Gotta love those tunnels. Filled with crazy undead and whirlpool gates to other dimensions. I kind of want to visit the tunnel just to see the crazy shit going on there. But I’ve heard enough about it, I have a pleasant image of skeleton hand things and necromancer undead ninja fellows in my head. Maybe, I’ll draw a picture of them. I could also come up with some wild undead of my own. That sounds trucking awesome, I’ll do that now. journal officially closed.
That's all for now folks, hope you enjoyed.
Here is my first chronicle of the season. Wow, I feel really rusty with my chronicle writing.
May Club League Chronicle, by Sonoda Kaito
Warning: Contains minor profanity, if your going to get offended easily or are less than ten years old don't read.
Isn’t it funny? We fear vampires, the eternal freaks that forever haunt our world and minds. But never have they succeeded in completely taking over our world. They have come close, but always something holds them back and drives the monsters away. Even now, while we fear them most and they dwell just across the waves, we can drive them off our shores and push them back again. However, a simple wave, something never feared can surpass any defense and kill thousands in a single night, an accidental attack that can conquer Sashi Eten with infallible grace and efficiency. Nothing but nature, our friend can do that. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned from this. But, then again, maybe there isn’t. I’m not going to over think this now. To be honest I’ll probably never think about the tsunami again. It was a freak of nature that came, wreaked destruction and left. It can now leave our minds. Hwoosh. That was the sound of it drifting away. Now we can focus on what’s at hand, what actually maters.
Let’s see, what’s important, what happened today.
Vampires arrive on shore.
Training peasants is a chore.
Temnorian pirates are no more.
We need a thing that opens a door.
A tunnel discovered to add to our lore.
And I assume many unrhymable things more.
Vampires are interesting. They are intelligent, unpredictable beings, capable of killing anything we throw at them while they steal our beloveds and turn them against us. Yet, at the same time they are remarkably simple, one could practically set their clock by them. “Oh, here come the vampires, shit’s about to get real.” It sometimes seems- scratch that, is always the case that the vamps only come when something else, important or destructive is finally discovered. We spend our lives puttering around getting treasure and fighting orks. But, you know something important is about to happen if the vampires come. At least, that’s what I noticed, but I’m no philosopher, so I’ll shut up before making an overused metaphor out of this.
What matters is the vampires’ ability to multiply and infuriate people. No matter how many we kill they are sure to capture more of us. Maybe we should all just commit suicide and pass on to out gods now. It would stop the vampires from expanding and allow us an exciting afterlife. Maybe we could have a worldwide vamp free slumber party up in the clouds, or wherever the hell we go. Well, I better start convincing the rest of the world to commit suicide now. If you read this and want to commit suicide leave a note on my door at the inn.
All joking aside, a worldwide slumber party most likely wouldn’t be very fun. Just imagine a truth or dare game with the martial masters. That would be painful. It would be an already depressing and embarrassing game, except confined by honor and shit. Although seven minutes in heaven with Ms. Stormwing could be pretty funny.
What I’m trying to say is that vampires attacked today and it was bad. People died and stuff. We won and everything was better for a few minutes. By “we,” I mean that the “rely on Ishmael for everything” strategy is unsurprisingly effective, and largely supported. Funny, how the strategy doesn’t seem to be repeatable and work on demand. I wonder why that is… hmm… people are stupid. Everyone is all like “oh, we just had someone kill the vampires for us, now our egos are huge and bleh bleh, let’s go fight some even stronger ones.” Sometimes I like to laugh at my party in private. Everyone is an idiot. I’m sure they do the same to me. Why wouldn’t people secretly laugh at their friend’s idiocy?
What’s next in my sorry attempt at a poem? Peasants? Oh, that’s weird, didn’t see that coming. I will attempt to summarize this mission in haiku.
We promised to them
Now we teach them skills and stuff
This line is useless
I guess there is a little more to this adventure. We were delivering food and whatnot to the tsunami victims. We got attacked by a hoard of bandits. People were slow at moving through.
For once I proved to be of worth. Rarely are my magical nature magics and pacifism powers of any use. But, for whatever reason when people are wounded and turned into trees a pacifist who can revert comes in handy. Not quite sure why.
But pirates, I don’t know about them. Don’t care, don’t wanna. The pirates just served as a way to conduct more training. I feel pirates are just attention whores that hog all of the glory. Not nearly enough respect goes to the parrots on their shoulders.
And now it’s time for…
Parrots that Sit on Pirate’s Shoulders, a Critical Analysis:
Far too often we think of the devious pirate as the epitome of all that is outrageous and thieving. However, we never pay enough attention to the details. Where do pirates get their glory? Is it their countless raids against more powerful vessels and more powerful people? Is it their relentless joy from the mere collection of vast wealth? Or is it the prestige of the command of a ship and backstabingly loyal crew? Nay I say to all. The true power of a scourge of the sea comes from its second in command. Not the one that steers the ship, as much as the often forgotten superior that rests on the captain’s muscular shoulder.
A parrot is a mimicking beast, creating a mockery of the monotony of our everyday lives with its relentless identical cries. It serves as the continual encouragement for any pirate captain to lead his ship into ever greater battles for ever greater plunders and rewards in a hopeless attempt to escape the frigid truth of his overly simplified lifestyle. Thus, the parrot serves as a metaphor to us all, encouraging us to make the most of every which moment of every day. To do what we can to improve this harsh world and achieve the pinnacle of out potential in the total of our lives, rather than at once. The birds give us new incentive to elongate our lives as long as possible. Parrots give reason for the very existence of elves and provide us with the everyday courage and determination to overcome the obstacles that make up both the consequently repetitive life of a farmer as well as the ever changing, spontaneous life of a want to be hero.
The birds are the true heroes and warriors in our lives. Let the world take a moment of silence for parrots, since they never give us one.
Wow, that intermission was crap. Maybe I should hire an editor or something to review what I write in this journal. But that would mean somebody would have to know of my useless tangents. I don’t want people to know the shit that goes on in my mind sometimes. Though, it may be fun to share…
Oh boy, it seems I’ve been sidetracked again. I would say I was surprised, but that would be a lie. What was I supposed to talk about in this journal again?
Wow, I’ve reached my twisted fucked up way of saying key line already? Time flies when you talk about the meaning of parrots and worldwide slumber parties. Either way, somebody needs to get this key. And that somebody probably shouldn’t be me. I haven’t even seen the trucking chest it goes in. Wow, I use a lot of profanity in my journal don’t I? Anyways, I’d still like to be involved in this little adventure. Why not focus on something that actually matters, instead of ogres, money and magic? Who needs those things anyways? They don’t actually make one any happier, just provide one with short term joy that then needs to be surpassed in the future, leading to ever more powerful items and more powerful enemies to fight in order to receive the same jolt of joy that came the first time. However, that jolt can never be achieved again, there is nothing like the first experience, except perhaps, the last.
Anyways, I don’t know what I have to offer this key search group though, other than being one more haunt buster. One, that isn’t insane and power hungry. There was also talk of a polymorpher, I can do that I guess. I’m not sure if I’ve studied what they need me to know or not. Either way, I have a plan that will make sure I have just the right creature studied…
Anyways, tunnels. Gotta love those tunnels. Filled with crazy undead and whirlpool gates to other dimensions. I kind of want to visit the tunnel just to see the crazy shit going on there. But I’ve heard enough about it, I have a pleasant image of skeleton hand things and necromancer undead ninja fellows in my head. Maybe, I’ll draw a picture of them. I could also come up with some wild undead of my own. That sounds trucking awesome, I’ll do that now. journal officially closed.
That's all for now folks, hope you enjoyed.